NYC - July 2021

We've all been through this pandemic, if you're reading this now. You survived! You didn't kill yourself, great job, keep it up! My trip to NYC is like a bookmark that the woes of the covid-19 pandemic are coming to an end, bye bye covid... hello covid variants!

I went to my friends wedding reception and spent a week in New York being a total tourist in the worst season. Someone described it as, walking into an oven heated to 400F, then placing a turd in the center. 

None the less, I have many things to share with you from my trip! stories, events, and lessons learned! Hopefully you have a laugh at my fails and misfortunes, I hope you enjoy the read! 

Arrival - Friday July 2

Alaska airlines has wonderful cushions on their seats. I only know this because my flight back on delta airlines resulted in me having to change my booty position about 11 times during the flight. The lady in yoga pants siting next to me was discovering new yoga positions to sit in like every 20 minutes of the 6 hour journey. It seemed like she was breakdancing in slow-motion. Both flights I had upgraded seats not first class, not coach. The medium seat!

I arrived at The New Yorker Hotel. 34th street. A 10 step walk to pen station, great location! The hotel was made in the 1920's. The vibe was like "The Shining" (Creepy) I never knew what was going to be around a corner. The carpet had a flat old fashioned look to it. And the walls were stained by time. My room was on the 21st floor. Quaint and quiet. You could feel the age of the elevator when riding in it, feel the rumble, hear the squeak, and hear the rollers roll when going up and down. When I would push the button for the elevator doors to close, the doors would close after a random amount of time. When I looked at the photos on google reviews, I thought I would be staying in a modern hotel 😆

Saturday, July 3 - The day of the wedding reception! 

NYC has a unique smell to it. I first visited NYC 2 years ago, when I walked down the street I would smell a pocket of fresh air, then trash. Weed was recently legalized in NYC. So now the smell is: fresh air, trash, weed. We wanted to go to a dispensary. We search the yelps and call some shops and they told us we need a medicinal card to get our puff puff going. That wasn't going to happen cause we from the land of California where anything goes. So we begin our walk to the museum of sex. On the way we see a truck. covered with weed leaves, and an open window. 

In California I can go to a dispensary to buy weed and they will layout the strain, how many mg of THC/CDB, the ingredients and what kind of high you will get. The lady in this truck was clearly high, her eyes lookin like a stoned Koloa. Her entire vibe felt like she teleported out of a Cheech and Chong movie. "I got edibles, pre rolls and dime bags, 1 for 20 or 2 for 30". And the packaging! It looked like something I would get from a kid in high school. A little plastic dime bag with a superhero on the back, no other symbols, no other words, nothing. Just the goods and take at your own risk. Maybe she grew the weed in her backyard or in the truck, I don't know! We ate some later in the week and holy moly, it still got the job done.

We make it to the museum of sex. Review of the museum of sex. A wonderful place where sexuality is expressed and portrayed in a way which is human nature. Sex is a part of life, part of history and why does American society frown upon sex when a majority of advertisements and music videos are using sexuality to sell products, thanks old white men, thanks. 

I was reading the blurb on this piece. A young lady walks in with her friends and I see she can't take her eyes off this work of art. She says, "Dammm.... looks like that thing can do some..... damage" I tell her, "It got 6 speeds". We laughed and looked at all the other exhibits. 

We need to get to the country club in New Jersey for the wedding reception. So we rush through the exhibits and didn't get to play any of the sexy carnival games at the museum.

Basking Ridge Country Club! Wedding reception location!

The reception was FUN! There was a sense of, everyone is happy to be out. We all were drinking, laughing and dancing. I was the best man, like 30 min before the ceremony my friend was like you ready to give a speech?? I was like what speech? I forgot I was the best man. First I told the groom, nah I’m not going to do a speech, don’t put me up. I drank some campaign, talked to some people, ate some food, and we took a shot. Next thing I know I'm googling how to do a best man speech. Browsing browsing. I found a crispy sentence. I talked to the lady who helped plan the event and she sees lots of weddings and she was like good, short and sweet. I talked to the groom and we laughed. I downed my drink and began to memorize my lines. Then all us groomsmen go over the entrance plan, the music starts and off we go! Dance on the way in! Get yo groove on. Party party people! Clap clap clap clap! We all go sit in our tables. There was about 8 tables with 6-8 people at each one. The maid of honor gives a lovely proclamation of love and congrats to the bride and then my name is called. Here I go! I walk to and grab the mic. Everything seems to happen so fast up there with the bright lights. I look the bride and groom in the eye and express my happiness for them then I ended with “Wow! you guys did it! Congrats” then I knew it was time to deliver my lines. I took a step closer and began my rehearsed bit. Half way through my line. The mic cuts out, HELP! I look around and the MC points me to stand over inside the dance floor. I do a little jig and I’m back to center. I go back on with my lines and the mic cuts out again! I look down at mic and speak a little into it to see if it is working. I hear my voice projected and in that moment to acknowledge the situation I said “Must be the wifi”. So I stand directly in the middle. I delivered the lines got a laugh and exited the stage to some sweet applause. I sat down and was like, oh god. Microphones don't use WIFI, i'm an engineer, I should know this!! I was embarrassed, but looking back I quickly thought on my feet, didn’t freeze up and had fun. Successful first best man speech I outta say.

 

My memorized lines-

My only wish for you is that each day of your marriage is better than the previous, so that you can look back on today, your wedding day and say that was the worst day of my life.

People told me they liked my speech, that it was from the heart, sorry about the technical problems but you handled it well. 
What did you learn Cameron?
Open bar = hangover. 

July 4th!

Oh god a Hangover... how much did I drink? I find the closest food location to my hotel on yelp and I ordered a bagel. New York style, freshly rolled bread, meat, and cheese. That feeling in the morning with a hangover... I NEED FOOD. I NEED WATER. I NEED GREASE. Well good thing this restaurant is less than 0.1 miles away. I'll just go ahead and go down the elevator cause I'm on the 21st floor. It's 11am. Did you know that in The New Yorker Hotel this is the rush hour for the elevator? Push the down button and wait 2-3 minutes for a car to appear and when the doors open it is full of people! I hear my stomach grumble and do a little dance. A line of people started forming behind me. We figured it out, you enter the elevator going up so you have a spot reserved for when it eventually goes back down. So here I am, hangover eyes drooping and stomach begging for food and I get a notification from yelp that my food is ready for pickup. I'm in the elevator and going to the 48th floor. 🥴 And looking at the elevator floor buttons, like 37% of them are lit up. A lot of stops up and back down before I get to the lobby. A guy enters with his family "Did you all wait too?" everyone in the car responds with a resounding yes. Ding. Floor 33. I think of getting out and using the stairs. Ding. Floor 22. We are packed in, no one else can enter and I see a line of people waiting for a car to go down. Ding Lobby. I step out. All of the other elevators open at the same time, it was like synchronized swimming. Each one packed to the max with people. Everyone exits their elevator car and a wave of people fill the elevator lobby. Oh yeah covid is still kinda flying around ha ha! I was thinking of the strongly worded note I would put on google reviews. I walk to the shop, get my bagel and go back to the elevators. Lucky going up does not have the same issue as going down. I got to my room, devoured my bagel drank some water and laid on my bed and fell asleep in satisfaction as if I climbed mount Everest. 

We met up at City Point in Brooklyn. I ate corn beef hash from Katz deli. Nothing like a good ol' 20$ sandwich followed by a nap at a public table!

I read some article of the top 50 things to do in NYC. It led us to an immersive art experience called Light Leaks. 


My tip travel for you. Go to TripAdvisor first! But these types of things I appreciate, the space to explore something funky and new, I don't see that much in California.

Our plan was to go a skyscraper and look at the city, maybe even see some fireworks! We were at the Hudson Yards waiting for our other friends to show up, we stumbled into an art gallery!




Tiananmen square? hehe

These 3D art pieces were marvelous!


One day I want to buy one!

Our other friends finally arrived and we go to buy the tickets to The Edge (104 story skywalk thing). SOLD OUT! poop. Poop. poop. what did you learn Cameron? Buy tickets in advance! D:

 
Instead, we walked to the Wall Street area, that is where the bride used to work! She gave us a little tour of where she worked and where she would eat and drink at her lunch break. Drink alcohol by the way. There was an entire block filled with bars. A bar underneath a bar, next to another bar, across from a bar which had a bar next to it. I got the idea of what the suits are doing all day 
-______- 
and we are the dumb money -___-

USA! New York Stock Exchange! Remember to buy GameStop (GME) To The Moooooon! 

We then went to the shoreline to checkout the Statue of Liberty!

Can you see it?! :D :D :D

groom, manager, me, colleague

We grabbed some food, drank some beers then went to the shore to see some fireworks! Lots of people were out on a lovely warm night in NYC!



Underwhelming! The joke was that we saw the statue of liberty and the fireworks from very far away. The 'almost did it' sightseeing. Sightseeing tickets from the dollar store. Sometimes it's best to make your own plans, no offense!!!!!!!!!!! Still it was great to be outside, in the warm night and be with my friends.

July 5

Fuck the elevator, I took the stairs down all 21 flights. 

I went to an immersive art experience called Arcadia.Earth - thank you top 50 list! They used Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality. There are symbols throughout the exhibits which you scan with your phone for trivia, information and virtual funs. I'm happy to see VR and AR being used in museums more prominently, one day it will be huge! For now, it's meeeehhhhh, but maybe that's because I'm working on this type of stuff for my day job.




The message was strong and clear. The earth is dying to humans' pollution and waste. Get your ass eating a plant based meal. Recycle. Climate change is real and do your part. 

I was sweaty and my eyes were getting tired. I sat on a bench in Washington Square Park and a band started playing music, people started dancing and I soaked it all in. Watching the human male work his way closer to the human female with his melodic dance moves, just like in the documentaries! 

After that I went for a stroll around the park and I found a bunch of people playing chess. I looked at the open tables there was an older man with a slight grin and a young Russian guy with a popped collar I choose the guy who seemed friendly and non threatening. Duke was his name and he got 10 dollars out of me. It was quick and painless. Playing in person with money on the line has an entirely different feel than playing online. My heart raced, my body was tense and I made a noise every time I lost a piece. eh? ahh? ugghhhh? dammmmmm! I would look up at him, total stoic no reaction, dishing out deadly moves left and right. Well that was that and I headed back to the subway, well I stopped to watch these a basketball game between high school teams, they were wearing jerseys, there was a referee and a highly invested coach arguing with the refs. ball is life. 

July 6 

Helllooooo from way up high! I went to The Edge. 100 stories up and we see a beautiful view of the city and the river! 40$ entry ticket! 20$ for a little bit of smoked salmon! Tourism! 

Next up SpyScape, another interactive experience! NYC has a bunch of these museums which are focused on a singular topic and well I'm all for it. Spyscape was focused on spies, espionage and deception. 

As you walk through each section there are personality test to take, IQ challenges

and skill assessments. Here are my results!

Who knows how accurate these tests are, I like to take these test over and over until I get a result I think matches my personality. If you know any spies that need handling, you got my number! Bad ones, good ones, and dead ones. I got you covered!

The museums in NYC have a focus and vibe I've never seen and I really appreciated it. In SF, a museum will have like 5 different subjects, a broad focus. Out here in NYC, we get a singular focus with a clear message. Times are a changing! Museum design is evolving!

I wandered into times square and a crowd was gathering. A bunch of athletic dudes, loud hype music and crazy dance moves. Breakdancing! Hip hop moves! Spinning! Acrobatics! They did it all, seemingly spurr of the moment, but they had lines which they would all say at the same time, funny punchlines, obviously scripted yet entertaining. They really milked it, they work off donations, but still the money asking went on a little too long. Here is the final jump they did. 

Now about that milking of donations. I seriously got some chills. They purposely found a bunch of older white guys and had them all line up, under the guise that this dude will jump over all of them lined up. Then they put them on the hotspot to give a donation, before the jump. The situation felt like a dose of revenge. I found it hilarious, maybe I'm just looking too deeply but I got a kick out of it.

Next up the Comedy Cellar, I had a great time. Tons of laughs. The story I enjoyed the most was about the comic's brother. He is a Wall Street guy to the bone. Money money money that is all he cares about, yachts, penthouses and clubs. he is the Florida man. He ended up in the news stealing 3.2million$ of PPP during covid. her line was - "We all had hobbies during the pandemic". 

"Wow the pandemic, over half a million dead. We are getting back to normal life, and there still is traffic, I wanna know what it will take to make a dent."

July 7 

I signed up for a drop in improv class at PIT improv. It was wonderful to play improv games in person again! During the class my eyes started getting dry from wearing the contacts. So when we had our break halfway into the class I rushed to my seat and took out my eye drops. Into the right eye it goes, into the left eye it goes. I look forward and my right eye doesn't feel right. It looks blurry. So I touch on my face around my eye. A classmate says "Oh no did you lose a contact?", "I don't know, did I?" I asked her to look into my eye and she said she didn't see a contact in there. We do a little search party and find nothing. A key part of improv is making eye contact, reading facial expressions, and connecting with your scene partner. She says, "Well now we got a one-eyed improviser." My first improv scene in over a year and it's half blurry, wahoo! 🥴 I think my scene partner was getting weird vibes. Our scene went a little off the rails. I may have been winking at her a lot... but only because I needed to see clearer. I can only go up from here! 

Whenever I take a break from improv and I come back, I'm always reminded how much I love improv. I sucked, I ate shit, I was out of the moment, I was awkward. Yet still I'm itching to go do improv again. To me that is passion, that is love. I left the improv class with that feeling and I was caught with my pants down. I was wearing a t-shirt, flip-flops and some jogger pants. SURPRISE THUNDERSTORM! I didn't have an umbrella. An uber ride would cost 20$. It kinda looked like someone turned on a shower on the medium setting. The air was warm and it was a 10 minute walk to my hotel. It didn't look so bad really, I went for it. After 1 block, it felt like I just played a game of basketball and was sweaty. I ran. I ran ran ran. Hiding under awnings whenever I had to wait for a traffic light. Feeling the squish of my sock get more and more squishy. A clap of thunder, a group of young kids without umbrellas running by and squealing. I made it to the elevator in my hotel and a lady was waiting inside. I could feel the weight my shirt pulling down from the water it absorbed. I said. yeah... looks like I just got out of the swimming pool. She smiled and said, it was a 15% chance of rain. Another lesson learned, the next days I checked the weather and if there was more than 1% chance of rain I didn't leave without my umbrella. I always learn the hard way!!!!!!!!!!! but it sticks forever!!!! My run was slightly blurry from the missing contact. I was going to sleep and I felt something weird, I moved my eye ball and all of a sudden and when I looked up, my vision was clear in my right eye. Oh dear god! The contact was in my eye somewhere the entire time! I fished it out, heaved it with gusto into the trash and went to sleep.

July 8 

SHOPPING DAY!!!!!!!!!! Nike, Adidas, and The church of scientology! No further questions your honor!!! All you need to know. I gave a fake name, fake address and ALL HAIL RON E HUBBBBBARdd! just kidding. My mask fell on the floor and I needed a new one, so I went into the church and played pretend interested so I can get a new mask. 

At the nike store I tried on a bunch of clothes, if you didn't know skinny jeans are out, relaxed oversized fit is in!!!!! I decided on which clothes I wanted and made my way out of the fitting room. About halfway to the register. "Sir" I turn around and a nike employee is looking at me, she holds up my phone. OH DEAR GOD, THANK YOU. That lady saved my life that day. I should have gave her a hug and signed a contract to name my first born child after her. 

I went to my favorite glasses shop MYKITA. Here are the glasses I plan to get next! Whatcha think? 1 or 2!

1.

2.

July 9 - Finale. Fin. Bravo. 

Ok. I wanted to fulfill my destiny of being a tourist. I saw the Statue of Liberty the other day and it was smaller than my pinky finger. I wanted to do my trip justice. 

H E L I C O P T E R  R I D E!!!!!!!!!!

Liftoff! 

Too many buildings!

Central Park!

So ummmmmmmmmm yeah. I'll make better videos next time. stay tuned!

Here is the reason I wanted to go on the helicopter ride. The Statue of Liberty! I wanted to see that baby up close in personal, no social distancing!

FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! USA USA USA!

Well I did it, I got closer to the statue. Got my cool picture. bye bye NYC! was fun! I didn't eat lunch and it was about 3pm because the helicopter ride was delayed. I'm about to enter the subway and get some food and well well well. I see a ferry chugging along the open waters. Screw it! I walked up to a security officer and asked how do I get to the Statue of Liberty? He told me to go to battery park and find the circle building. I walked in the direction he told me. I ended up in an area where the dominant smell was trash. The road turned into sand and rocks. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. I saw trees in the distance and headed that way. I found some signs and followed them. Next thing I know I bought a ticket to Ellis Island! I went through security! I boarded the boat! I went straight to the food dude on the boat, you got a hotdog? no... got a sausage? no... got a bread? no... no hot food... I ended up eating a bag of Doritos and m&ms. 

Oh my lord! 

I'm getting closer!

This is the biggest I've seen the statue!

I'm on the island!!!!

I wanted a closer shot of that green booty!!!!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!

WAHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Tourist achievement unlocked!

ahhhhhh yes. problem solved. 

Well that was that, I took the boat back to land, boarded a subway train and went to my hotel. Don't worry there is a happy ending. There is a steak house under my hotel. 

New York Strip Steak.

Carrots.

Manhattan.

July 10

Flight back to California in the morning. I left my hotel room 25 minutes earlier than google maps said, to account for traffic---- at the elevator!!!!!! There was no traffic and I was early to my flight. Bye bye NYC, it was fun. I'll be back next year!